But I'm Not Broken

Life begins and you are perfect.
Well except for the boxes that are checked when they decide that THIS will be your name.
The boxes that shape the perception the world will take ... of you, and where you come from.
Life begins uneven and slanted, hope and joy can be brief, but they say later YOU can turn it around, but the tools, can you reach?

You may or may not be given direction.  You may or may not even be given a map.  You're only left to trust in what others are telling, a truth that maybe questionable at best.  Shaped to be something that you may not be meant to be? You do what you can, trying to fall forward, and not back.

Being in one place to long, is not a sign of complacence, but a picture of confusion, lostness, and distress.
I do nothing short of doing it great, I earn nothing short of, it's ok.

To the people that are only familiar with me... Watch me from a distance... Have brief encounters, short conversations....I have a lot going for me.  To me, I'm on a treadmill, barely getting my heart rate up  So what do I do?  Where do I go?  How do I get there?  I am a person of faith.  And I AM waiting on God.  My question, my concern, is what am I doing that is stopping God from fully blessing me.  I watch people around me who are experiencing movement in their life, picking up momentum.  Me, I take a step, and then I feel as if I'm stumbling back or just falling on my ass.  Happy for them, confusing for me.  But I try to keep going.

When I look at my life, I recognize that my parents raised me the best they knew how.  But in the grand scheme of things, did they do what they could to equip me to go after the things that make me passionate, and would contribute to my happiness.  I don't strive to be perfect, I just want to be happy, and doing more than surviving.  And now, I'm left with the question of wondering... What exactly is that?

I right now, and in pieces like a puzzle.  I'm not broken and shattered to where I can't be put back together, but I need to be put back together.  I'm not broken, but I'm not whole.