Divorce

I am the product of a divorce.

In elementary school, there were so many kids in my class with divorced parents, that I was only of a few that had both parents still together.  But time changed that.  My parents were married until my Jr. High years. They had their issues, including money & fidelity being the biggest of them all and bringing it to an end.

When my parents split, I can't say I was surprised, but it was traumatizing, which is probably why I am almost 43, and not in a relationship that could lead to marriage right now.

I have a few friends that are in varying stages of divorce.  It hurts me to hear them speak about their relationships coming to an end; but it hurts me more to hear the effects on their kids.  What's interesting about the people in the relationships and their life's foundation makes it even more interesting.

1. Higher educated.
2. From 2 parent homes (married)
3. Good family support system.

As I listen to them, and have the urge to speak to them as a child of divorce, AND NO!!!  I don't know everything, but I can speak to a place they've never experienced.  I want to say to them... IT AIN'T ABOUT YOU!!! WATCH OVER YOUR CHILD!!!  You've ripped your child's world a part, and now you are creating a divide because of "your" attitudes towards together.

As I think about what the kids are going through, and consider what the couple could be coping with, I think...at some point in time, someone has to step up, and take one for the team.  "We all" can't be angry. Someone has to give in & bend so that the child is not feeling they are in a tornado, or have the ability to manipulate anyone to get what they want.

I want to tell them that your children will grow, and eventually, they will form their own opinion.  An opinion that despite what is being told to them, what they see, what "you" show them, will be how they decide who "you" are to them, and what type of relationship they want.  I want to tell them that... but I recognize that they have to be open and ready to hear it.